15 More Stories from the Oak

The Cows Feel Pretty When They See You

Day 361- – The Cows Feel Pretty When They See You

She started out weak and meek, one of the rest. She started out low, as a dog, and submissive. Bowing down at the feet of her master, washing his feet with her saliva. Never once did a word of bravery slip out of her lips to stab others in the heart. Her stomach did similar acrobatics, quivering and shaking like her hands when faced with an obstacle. Her master took pity on her. He took her into his household, clothed her with garments fit for a queen, fed her, and treated her as an equal, not as what she was. A few months passed. As her master fed her with words and lessons sweet and full, so too did her body grow more supple. More than this though, her soul and spirit grew and ballooned. It filled her chest, and started to rattle and knock against her ribs, making her cough from time to time.

The master saw the cough, and saw what road she was on, but did not refrain. It was destiny, he was not one to interfere. He allowed her the place she claimed as her own, digging her nails deep into the fabric of his Kingdom. Without knowing of it, she attempted to rule and control. The subjects looked at this plump woman, with food left over around the lips, and grease-stains a plenty, with disdain. Could not fight back, for respect and bondage to the master. Like a goose being fattened for slaughter, he fed her full each day, and then continued to feed. The gluttony increased, until her waistline appeared that it would hold no more weight. She waddled around the world like a plump balloon, but she sank rather than floated. Her ego now broke free from her ribs and assaulted all those around her. Her tongue and arms lashed to and fro, injuring and wallopping all in its path. Her gluttony was about to meet its end, however.

One day as she waddled down the road, she decided to take a trip to Marind Bell. As she walked through the Gates, however, she realized that she was stuck. She would not fit.

She took deep breaths and wiggled, but her ego was just too large. It clogged all her veins and her throat, choking her from the inside out like an invisible snake breathing.

A majestic knight came from the Sparring Grounds, looked her up and down and decided on a course of action. He began listing off all her faults. “You are ugly. You are unintelligent. You cannot walk. You are not graceful.” He paced back and forth, stabbing her ego with his sword of truth. As the hours dragged on he became creative. “The sky sags a little because it cannot bear your weight. The air around your head is disgraced when you take a breath in. I was told once that you lost a servant in your folds. Your lips appear like worms. You sweat more than a pool of grease on a hot day. The cows feel beautiful when they look at you.”

As he stabbed her again and again, she deflated, and started to sob, crying out all of her excess. “Sir, sir. You underestimate. I am all these and more.” Soon enough she was all deflated, but her skin hang low and sagged. She had coats and coats of skin around her, and she could no longer move under its weight.

The Knight had to decide what to do with her. He went to the Master, who promptly nodded knowingly. “I knew she would grow this way, but it was the only option. Do with her as you like.” The good sir went back to the pile of woman, and decided that although bizarre, she would make a watertight roof. And so she was hung, from the top beams of his house, forever to protect his family from the rain, wind, and snow. Gazing down at the safety for years, she learned her lesson again and again. Humbly, she would sometimes whisper down to her inhabitants, “You each are unique and beautiful, but do not be so beautiful that you can no longer hold up your vanity.”

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